I think he probably had it for breakfast, too. I can’t be sure. I have brain fog. (I’ll explain that later). I’m not even going to try to pretend that I am one of those moms who only feeds her kids organically grown everything. I try my best to eat organically grown fruit, vegetables and meats. But I can’t force my kids to eat what they don’t want to eat. Frankly, I don’t have the energy. Nor do I think one or two years of eating a diet of goat milk, crackers, mac n cheese, and cereal really matter much in the long run. Plus, he’s 2 and his favorite word is “NO!” Okay, enough rationalizing.
It’s hard being a parent, but it’s even harder when you’re chronically ill. I’ve been dealing with health problems since 1994. It’s only recently that I’ve gotten a diagnosis, which is why I’m finally talking about it openly. When you’re sick and you don’t have a diagnosis, people take it upon themselves to diagnose you a hypochondriac. To spend the majority of 16 years of your life with a migraine (and more recently chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia-like pain) you have to be pretty tough. That’s the ironic part. If any of the haters had to walk a day in my shoes, I doubt they could handle it. You could run into me at the grocery store and I could have a pounding migraine and be on the verge of throwing up, but you’d never know it. I ‘m a pro at hiding it. You won’t, however, ever find me in aisle with all of the cleaning products. I”m allergic to fragrance. I will talk more about the details and ramifications of my diagnosis in future posts. Long story short, I have Chronic Lyme Disease and Reactivated Epstein Barr which is basically the mono virus (I had mono at 12). I used to have Bartonella (another tick-borne illness) and it’s not entirely clear if I may have another bacterial infection.
This is my first ever blog post, and I won’t deny that I’m not entirely sure of what I’m doing. My hope is that this blog will be both cathartic for me and possibly inspirational for the few people battling a chronic illness who happen upon it. I like to laugh and I have A LOT of opinions. It’s my sense of humor and my love of the absurd that have gotten me through some incredibly dark periods. I suspect that this blog will evolve as I do. Sometimes it will be about the challenges of raising a family while chronically ill, wishing I had more energy and a better memory to provide my kids with the childhood they deserve. Other times it may just be me ranting. I know the rule is to stay focused but, well, Lyme makes it hard to do that at times.
The amazing truth is that I’m on day 11 of not having to take so much as a tylenol to control the pain. I honestly do not know the last time I went that long with out having to medicate in some way, I know that it won’t last forever and the Lyme has cycles. It’s just exciting to finally have a whole good week instead of just one good day. If I hadn’t finally gotten a diagnosis after all that time and started rebuilding my immune system along with the several years of antibiotics I will most likely have to endure, I would probably have died an early death. That was the path I was heading down. It may be impossible for anyone other than my fellow Lymies and Lyme Literate doctors to understand that this is the truth. I wouldn’t have had the energy to start this project a few months ago. So, I dedicate this to all the people out there that are suffering and just want answers and for someone, anyone, to believe them.